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No, I... I was only...

[ mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmm mmmmmmmmm google how does he keep cookies fresh for like ten years. kaname shifts on his feet, shy, and clears his throat again. come out, words. ]

I mean... you have been kind to me, and I'm not-- an ungrateful person in the least, you see, so I simply decided to do what I could and... give everyone who'd done something for me a gift. That's all. I wasn't being thoughtful or anything like that. It's just what you do.

[ or... yeah... that... something like that... ]

[Aww, he's so flustered. Niki didn't do this for the sake of embarrassing him, but it's always kind of cute to see someone who's normally so cool be... well, you know, not. He won't tease him for it, though. He's not mean!]

Yeah, you're right. It is just what you do. ♪

[Kaname's a good boy... Niki still thinks it takes thoughtfulness to be that way, but he won't push him about it. There's something else he wants to talk about.]

Actually, to tell the truth, I was kind of thinking about the things you said the other day. You know, about Rinne-kun. You said I could do worse than him. Does that mean you don't dislike him?

[ shiina is the meanest person in the world. also why. does amagi care what he thinks. he shouldn't. kaname puffs his cheeks a bit, blowing out semi-annoyed. ]

... No. I don't dislike him. He has some good points, but more importantly he isn't inherently a bad person nor does he strive to be.

[ if anything he's kind and considerate in his own way, even if that "own way" is making sure there's nothing unclear and putting kaname into the frustrating position of being honest about stuff he'd rather put under the rug. like narukami, but different. ]

What about him?

Nahaha... Well, I was just surprised. Usually people don't think that way about him.

[He knew that Rinne had not exactly been kind toward Kaname. In fact, he'd probably even been a bit harsher with him than most. But Niki understood why—Rinne knew what it was like to have a brother, after all.]

Normally, people act like I'm crazy for sticking with him. But you didn't seem to think it was strange at all. I guess it's just kind of refreshing to hear that sometimes.

[It isn't often that people say those kinds of things about Rinne. He knew that Rinne preferred it that way, but... you know, Niki cared about him, and he wanted other people to care about him, too.]

[ well. anyone with half a brain could see amagi's rouse for what it was, in kaname's opinion -- or he thought that way, but maybe it's just because snakes can see snakes. in a sense. ]

... He was annoying and rude the moment we met. No matter what I said or did, he was a thorn in my side -- I realized later that it was because of who my brother is, of course, but at the time he was aggravating. Especially with that stupid nickname he gave me. [ did Not make himself very 5 star worth review was.

but. but. ] However, he treated me to the most delicious cake I'd ever had -- even though I'd only looked at it and asked for something else entirely. It was annoying, as was his attitude after we left... but I did appreciate it. My diet doesn't allow for treats such as that.

[ he still sneaks them every now and then, of course. when he isn't sharing them more openly with his brother and narukami. but nothing's come close to tasting how that cake had after listening with rapt attention to amagi's story, still fatigued from a day that seemed so, so long ago. a little kindness that had cemented something in his mind. maybe he's just simple after all. ]

There are other reasons that came later, of course -- my brother and Hiiro's opinions, my own experiences -- but how irritating he was then still sticks out in my mind.

[Yeah, that sounds like Rinne, alright. The way he makes himself seem annoying and off-putting, going out of his way to create this distance that most people won't dare to try and cross—except the reality is that he can't prevent his kindness from shining through, because he's a good person at heart. He's annoying, but he doesn't want to hurt people, and in fact, often tries to do what he can to make their lives better... because that's what he was raised to do. He can't help being like that.

But those are the kinds of thoughts Niki keeps to himself. Even if there are things he feels like he can say more easily now, there are still limits to his honesty. He just listens to what Kaname says with a smile.]

He's just the worst, right? [Niki says that, but his tone is unmistakably fond.] He's always gotta leave an impression. But you're right—he really isn't a bad person. I'd make the same choice over and over again if I could.

[ it reminds him of the way he calls others "unbearable" sometimes -- and he pushes the thought roughly from mind, not letting the weed linger and flourish. ]

What choice was that? To marry him?

[ he's sincerely curious. and no he won't let it go-- ]

Ahaha... [Niki laughs awkwardly. Wow! He really, really won't let that go! Niki's actually kind of shocked here!] I was thinking more like being his friend. Hm, but I guess that, too, actually.

[He "guesses."]

[ sorry, he's like a bulldog...

he "guesses"....... okay. ]

Narukami told me he says it to everyone, so I imagine he proposed rather frequently to you... I think you staying by his side regardless is evidence enough of his merits, however.

[ even though, really, it's the other way around; the fact amagi stays by shiina's side despite everything is the sticking point, but kaname doesn't know that. anyway!!! ]

How long have you two known each other? I'd like to know more about Amagi -- what is it you first saw in him, and what made you want to be his friend. If... that's alright.

[ since it's. a little weird to ask about, he guesses -- but amagi definitely wouldn't give it to him straight, but shiina would. maybe. ah, actually-- ]

--Do you want to come in.

[ help ]

[WHOA... He's really invested in this! He's not sure if Kaname is genuinely curious or if it's just the human nature of being drawn to gossip. Niki isn't actually interested in delving too deeply into this stuff (it's personal, and because of the way Rinne handles Kaname, it doesn't feel appropriate), but he does like having an excuse to spend more time with people, so he decides to roll with this anyway. He'll figure it out.]

Wait, really? Don't mind if I do! ♪ Oh man, if I knew we were gonna hang out, I would've brought more snacks.

[These were meant more for Kaname and the others, so he'd feel bad for eating too many of them. But maybe just one... or two... It's no fun to eat alone, after all.]

We have plenty of [ healthier ] snacks in the kitchen, so feel free to make yourself at home. It isn't as if anyone is a stranger to you here.

[ ... hee. hanging out with shiina...

anyway come in, they can hang out in the kitchen. check out all their cute decor narukami's bought, some flower themes but just in general very white suburban woman. live laugh love type of stuff. he'll set the cookie box on the table so they can share it... ummmmmm what do hosts d oh right ]

Water or juice?

Juice, please~.

[Ohh, Niki's actually kind of excited about this. Before coming to this town, visiting other people's homes was something he rarely did. (Rinne didn't have a home for him to visit, and it's not like Niki had a lot of friends otherwise.) So in a way, this is still kind of a novel experience for him.

He'll politely take a seat at the table and open the box to retrieve one of his cookies.]

Thanks for taking care of me, Yodaka-kun! [He immediately and ruthlessly takes a bite out of one of his cookies. He doesn't have any remorse for how pretty they are.] Oh, right, about Rinne-kun...

[munch, munch...]

Let's see... I've known him for about four and a half years now, I think. [He "thinks," because time here is a little awkward. It had been summer back home when they left, but fall here, when they were pulled into this place.] The way we met was...

[munch, munch...]

Extortion.

[ four and a half years... that's such a long time. kaname hasn't known anyone half as long -- tatsumi is a year now in full, maybe, but even then time was... weird, and off between them. but four and a half?

wow... kaname pours lemonade for shiina, and he decides milk for himself -- which he promptly spills as he pivots on his heel back to look at the other. ]

Extortion?! What happened to Amagi being a good person? Did you reform him or something?!

[ please he's actually a little excited. just a bit. he also doesn't normally have people over, and now he's getting into amagi's sordid past as an extortionist?????? ]

Yeah, well, you know, Rinne-kun's always been a total menace~.

[He says this casually. He doesn't seem even remotely fazed by Kaname's apparent shock. He finishes up his cookie and licks the crumbs off his fingers.]

He's been like that ever since we met! I couldn't change him if I tried. [He would never, ever want to.] It was terrible, though. One day, I was living a normal life, and then the next, I was harboring a criminal... I really thought the cops were gonna come after us, you know? I didn't go outside for weeks!

[This is kind of an exaggeration, but it's also not exactly a lie? This really did happen.]

[ ...

he'll clean up his milk and bring the glasses over to sit down. enjoy your lemonade. he'll take a cookie but he isn't eating it yet he's into the story. ]

But what made you take him in, then? You can't be that much of a pushover, Shiina.

Oh, I am, though! I'm a total pushover. [He says this with a suspicious amount of enthusiasm? He's just stating a fact, though.] I let him stay because I really was afraid of getting arrested! But after that...

[He takes a sip of the lemonade. Hmm...]

Well, like you said, he's not inherently a bad person. And besides, I liked the company, I guess.

[ ... ]

Shiina.

[ with a soft tone. please. what the hell. ]

You worry others a lot, don't you.

Nahaha. Yep! I'm actually a pretty troublesome person, you know.

[This is also something he says way too easily. There are a lot of implications here, but Niki continues on just as effortlessly:]

But see, that's the thing about Rinne-kun. I mean, I'm sure I worry him a lot, but he never acted like I was troublesome. He just treated me like a normal person. He didn't think I was strange at all.

[It meant the world to him.]

[ how did you survive until you met amagi...

... is a question he keeps to himself, because frankly he's been through the wringer himself and barely scrambled out of hell too. people survive in all sorts of way. he just hopes shiina's wasn't anything like his. ]

That's because he's strange, too. [ naturally. waves his cookie around. ] Though I don't dislike that part about him, I suppose, it certainly is annoying at times.

[ though not in a bad way? maybe. munch-- oh. this is good. his face lights up and he closes his eyes to appreciate the taste, then slowly rests on the table. ]

You sound like a handful, Shiina. But I suppose handfuls aren't terrible -- Tatsumi-senpai was always one too, and he's turned out as fine as you have. What's it like, knowing someone for that long?

I don't think he's strange. I think he's very human.

[Maybe that's easy for Niki to say, because he also isn't normal. But if there's one thing he learned from him, it's that... it's okay to be like this. There's nothing wrong with being the way they are. They're just human.]

I feel like I've known him all my life! No one knows me like he does. He's the kind of person who notices all the little things about you. He'll remember everything you say, even the stuff that's not important.

[Like how he remembered his birthday or the foods he was excited to try (but couldn't afford) or the kinds of shows he liked to watch. He remembered even the things he didn't understand, like Niki's routine and other weird city customs... all those little things that other people never cared about.]

I never thought I'd have someone like that. I mean, even my family isn't like that. It's like... I guess for me, it's like there's someone even closer than that.

[ ...

no, it is very human. amagi is very human. kaname glances away, thinking of the last heavier discussion they'd had together, and... dips his cookie into his milk, munching into it. mm. oh, to have someone like that in his life. ]

... I think you're rather lucky then, Shiina. And-- you're right. Amagi is very human. [strange is just... a dismissing way to put it, but. shiina won't make fun of him. probably. ] He simply doesn't want others to think of him that way.

[ from one fake bitch to another: i see you. ]

It sounds nice, [ a little wistful, just a tad, ] to have someone that wants to know you so well.

[Niki isn't sure if Rinne is like that because that's what he wants people to think of him or if it's just— how he was raised. If it was how other people thought of him. But Niki won't correct Kaname about this—it's okay for him to be wrong about it, because Rinne probably wouldn't mind if people thought it was like that.

But as for the rest of what Kaname says... Niki just smiles.]

Right? I used to think I was the unluckiest person in the world. I mean, my luck still is pretty bad... I've been dealt the short end of the stick for pretty much my entire life. But when I think about him, I think maybe it's not so bad after all.

[He is lucky to have met Rinne. He's lucky to still have him, too. He thinks about it every single day.]

But you know, the world's full of good people, Yodaka-kun. I'm sure you'll meet someone who wants to know you that well, too.

[ kicks his feet under the table... he's trying to think of anyone who comes close. there's no one he particularly feels as if he's known for forever. maybe tatsumi, but-- he remembered everyone simply because he's tatsumi, so that wasn't anything special either -- he was the same then (kaname's present, only a year older and just within reach) as he is now (kaname's future, older by a few years and just out of reach) so... no, nothing special.

...

who'd want to know him that well?

actually, it's a little scary that someone would want to. would they still like him if they knew he was nothing and nobody? if they knew he couldn't do half of what he claims so boldly? if they knew he killed someone? if they knew he hated pears because of their apple-like texture with no apple taste?

...

after a bit of a long pause, using eating his cookie as a good excuse, kaname replies. ]

No, I don't think I want to.

[ he can't say that he understands shiina's lot in life. kaname's unlucky too; he always has been, and always worked hard to get himself into good graces. to find his own blessings and make his own luck. but it's because he's unlucky he can lose it all in an instant, and every bit of that is sitting precariously on its head right now in the nest.

oh, he'll be so thankful when that shoe drops. a nice little "i knew it was too good to be true". ]

These cookies are delicious, Shiina. I'm certain my brother and Narukami will enjoy them as well. How did you manage to make them look so pretty?

[ let's change the subject. ]

[Ahaha... He knows what he's doing. Part of him wonders if he should let it go... But he kind of understands where he's coming from, he thinks, so he'll say just one more thing for now.]

There's nothing wrong with that. It's kind of scary, isn't it? But I think if even someone like me can be loved, then anyone can.

[Because Niki felt the same way—he was nothing and nobody. He had so little to offer the world, except that he knew how to cook, and apparently, he wasn't half-bad at singing, either. He felt like someone who took up space more than anything (though he tried very hard to add value to his presence). There wasn't much about himself that Niki actively tried to hide, but that's also why he knew how hard it could be to be loved. Of course, he doesn't know what sort of things Kaname is afraid to show, but he's sure it exists for him, too, an unconditional love that will accept him no matter what.

...hmm. He's still hungry. Maybe just one more cookie.]

Well, you know, normally, making food that looks good can actually be pretty tough, but this is actually really easy. It's kinda like painting? Nahaha, not that I know anything about art, though~.

[It isn't his place to push this stuff, so he won't. But he does kind of hope that this little bit of honesty will make up for hiding his true feelings before. If Rinne didn't need to lie about love, then Niki shouldn't, either.]

I can show you how to do it next time, if you want. ♪

[ but shiina, for all his faults, is endearing and kind. he has a charm that naturally draws others and lets them feel at ease -- he understands it himself, having been under its influence. kaname...

... has been told many different things, but it doesn't fit his perception of what people should be happy to be around or attracted to in any way and so he's fought against it, vocally or just to himself. kaname doesn't want to chase it more here, so he won't say anything, and... he wants to believe shiina too. that as terrifying as it is, someone out there wants to know him like that. mm. ]

... Thank you. [ for the words. and the offer. but the words, it's for the words-- ] I'd like that. Drawing and coloring things is one of the few hobbies I've found myself enjoying here, so that sounds... up my alley, as I've heard it said.

[ not that he has any drawings on the fridge or anything but he does have a sketchbook in his room!!! it's filled with flowers and amateur portraits of people he likes, his imagination is endless when it comes to them. ]

Though I haven't tried more abstract things like this. I do think you have a good eye for color though, Shiina.

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