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[ How has he been. A loaded question if ever he's heard one, but he responds lightly, shifting over on the rock so Kaname can join him. ]

Well my legs don't feel like lead anymore and my shoulder's finally stopped hurting, so I can't complain.

[ he could complain. He could complain about how he's been having trouble sleeping between his nightmares and the stress. He could complain about how heights have been making him anxious, or how water's been making him anxious, or the dark, or any number of things. He's been so scared lately and hasn't said a single word about it since he arrived.

But he won't. Because lingering on the negative right now wouldn't help anyone. Especially given the conversation he's working towards. Kaname isn't exactly the type to like confrontations even if Aira's not upset about it. ]

How have things been for you? It feels like it's been really busy around here...

[ he can complain, though, that idle venting had been the crutch of their conversation before it branched out otherwise -- but kaname doesn't say a word about it, since shiratori's life has been difficult enough without dwelling on the bits he couldn't help. maybe they'll get around to it.

for his part, once he's taken a seat, kaname lets out a long sigh. ]

Hasn't it? If it isn't one thing it's another, truly... I almost miss the ridged routines Reimei kept us on -- it was predictable at least, though... [ ... ] Though I do prefer this place, despite it all.

[ he has so much here he didn't, and couldn't, before... for better and worse. ]

But I've been well. My back stopped being sore a little while ago, thankfully.

[ thank god he can sleep anywhere and any way because it would have sucked otherwise. anyway!!! anyway. let him put the basket down, it's clearly handmade now that shiratori can see it better... sorry he's got a lot going on, it's evident that the teen shiratori had known on the island has become a fair bit more... free, maybe. youthful. able to act his age. ]

I made us lunch too, though they're only finger sandwiches. Oh, and let me give you my number too -- Narukami and I haven't been on the best of terms lately, so it was rather awkward to be spoken to by her out of the blue.

Oh- I'm sorry, I didn't know. She didn't really let on as much when I asked...

[ He is... once again sort of baffled by how much she must care about him to put hard feelings aside briefly for his sake. ]

I'm glad you're feeling better though. That looked painful- oh.

[ he smiles at the cute little basket and sandwiches. It's honestly nice to see Yodaka feeling better just in general too. The island had been so oppressive for both of them... ]

Lovely~~♡

I love the basket, it's so cute!

[ The idle mention of Reimei makes Aira purse his lips though, eyes casting down after a moment. ]

Yodaka-kun..? This is... probably going to sound weird but... were you... were you the original HiMERU?"

[ He lets the question hang for a bit before looking over at his friend again. ]

It's okay if you are, I just... you keep talking about Reimei and there's... no one named Yodaka going there, plus anyone so obbiously related to HiMERU would catch a lot of attention... plus when we practiced on the island you were always using HiMERU's old songs... I thought that was because he's your brother, but... then I remembered thinking it was odd how he was using third person in reference to the name HiMERU all the time... I also heard Reimei was doing better these days but I can't say for certain. I don't talk to Tomoe-senpai and Sazanami-senpai very often...

[ He's nervous rambling in trying to explain his thought process. ]

[ it does start out innocently enough -- it isn't a big deal about narukami, really, they have their rough patches and... this was a rougher than normal patch but it's fine, probably, it'll have to be fine -- but the question stops kaname's thoughts, a dull, low ringing starting up in the back of the mind that only rings louder and louder and louder as shiratori talks until finally it cuts.

his expression's still a pleasant sort, a small smile that comes with hanging out with someone he enjoys the company of, but it's more reminiscent of his brother, of interviews in the past, than anything genuine. no one had really approached him about this before. kaname had forced narukami to bear the burden of it (something that now impeded them as... housemates, as something akin to friends) but no one seemed to have caught on, or looked too closely--

did anyone else know and was simply keeping it in their back pocket? no, there are those who it'd be impossible for that to be the case. but it still worries at him, fists clenched tight as kaname forces himself to breathe in, breathe out.

when he speaks, it's in a tone that has no room for arguments. not in a firm way, but in a... dangerous, almost threatening sort. steely, like a blade waiting to strike. it's born from unease and fear, like a cornered cat. ]

... Shiratori. I'm only going to say this once, so listen well and agree. There has only ever been, and ever will be, one HiMERU. Understand?

[ ... it isn't an answer, of course. kaname breathes in, and then emphasizes it again: ]

Agree.

[ ...

he'll talk after, but he needs the other to agree to this. it isn't kaname's well-being on the line, after all -- he would do anything to protect his brother. ]

[ The tone catches him off guard for a moment, but he can see the look in his eyes. The protective fear. He understands it even if he doesn't get why. ]

Mm. That's why we're out here and not somewhere others will hear. I wanted to know what you wanted me to do, so I guess that answers that.

[ Aira gives a little smile. He got the message, and had no intention of causing problems. He just figured it was better Kaname know that he knows. ]

HiMERU-senpai is HiMERU-senpai and Yodaka-kun is Yodaka-kun.

[ ... ... ...

so he isn't going to use it against them?

no-- shiratori has never been that sort of person, in his experience, nor has narukami in their time together. no one really is. it leaves kaname feeling lost, for a moment, before he turns his face away and rests it in his hand, staring off across the lake. ]

... Good. [ mm. ] Then it goes without saying that it needs to remain a secret that there was ever an "original".

[ ... well. it's like that, and he hesitates before he starts again. ]

Thank you, however, for being a fan of mine. Being able to perform for everyone, seeing their smiles and receiving their letters, was my favorite part of being an idol -- something I'd forgotten. I'd wanted to accept your praises when you talked about it before, but it made me happy just hearing how much you enjoyed my songs. [ it still makes him happy. it didn't even occur to him that he was in "danger" because of shiratori's newly remembered idol knowledge. ] I've surrendered everything to my brother, though, so I hope you'll support him instead.

[ even if he wants to be an idol again, on his own terms. even if, once he returns to reimei academy, he'll be "HiMERU" again until-- until he isn't, for some reason. ]

He's enjoying being an idol as much as I do. I want it to stay that way.

I wasn't going to tell anyone. It's... not really my place to.

[ He may be a giant otaku but he does have a conscience under there. Spreading a theory on the internet as a no-credit rando is way, way different than spreading something like this around with substantial evidence to back it. Plus clearly they were keeping it quiet for a reason. ]

I just figured I should ask... to make sure and to let you know I knew if it was true. I mean... you must have a reason.

[ for lying, that is. Aira is more than aware he's been lied to. That most have been lied to for most of Yodaka's stay. He isn't mad though. ]

And don't worry. I'm the biggest Idol fan there is. I can support both of you. I have been, anyway.

[ out comes his phone, and... though Kaname has likely seen it many times, Aira picks out two specific keychains from the mass of them, one of Kaname's old HiMERU ones and one of the current HiMERU. ]

I'm happy to hear he's enjoying it, though. Sometimes I worried about him. He always seems so serious.

[ and kaname has begun to feel very, very guilty about the lie, even if he's the one who forced his brother into it in the first place -- his brother, who would have handed his persona right back to him and thought of something for himself in needed. his brother, who kaname selfishly told him to take it on instead -- all so that he himself wouldn't feel suffocated by the memories that clung to such a name. how silly he was.

wasn't "yodaka" just as suffocating in the end?

... the keychains make his smile a little more real and he holds them both in his hand, he and his brother's. it's so strange to see it like this. merchandise he had vague knowledge of, but far too busy to look into it himself. even the fanletters had become a part of the work. how many of his brother's current fans had been his? how many are familiar with his brother alone? the way they mingle, twist around like the cords of the keychains, terrifies and excites him. he wants to see it; he doesn't. ]

... That's simply how he is. But that's also how "HiMERU" is as well -- I don't know how much he shows his hand even when he's playing up the persona, but my brother is kind and strict in spades, he always knows what to do and the best way to do it. His idea of fun is reading and puzzles, things that work the mind... while I'm not fond of it at all. But it's nice to sit together.

[ to have quiet moments, with casual affection of a hand on his head. leaning against one another. ]

He's more affectionate than I thought he'd be too, though that's only because meeting here was our first time seeing one another. The impression I had over our phone calls differed... though not by too much. [ a small laugh. ] My brother must feel as awkward as I do, even now, trying to figure out how a family should be.

[ but that's one thing he won't share past those words. still, it's clear as ever that kaname adores his brother, even if the impression that shiratori has of HiMERU differs from the one that kaname's able to see as his brother. he's hoping it'll ease the other's worries a little... ]

You know... When I was telling the others about him I noticed he spoke like he'd walked out of one of your old interviews... whatever the reason he had for taking up your mantle... he really loves you.

[ the amount of dedication it must have taken to flawlessly recreate a persona for someone like that is just... immense. ]

Maybe I'm not the best one to talk about this stuff, since I'm an only child, but... I don't think family is something that has a solid set of rules. It's what you make of it. The way you two are is fine as long as you're both happy. That's all that matters.

[ he looks down at the water distantly, smiling faintly as he brushes his finger across the ALKALOID pop socket on the back of his phone. ]

Family is there for you through anything. You may not always get along, but you always care.

[ they won't be getting along once kaname works up his courage to confront his brother,

but that's later, and this is now. ]

I'm more of an only child myself, given the circumstances. [ having only really. known each other this past year. gosh, if it wouldn't be a full year sooner over later -- even if only one of them knows it. ] It feel as if I know a number of others who have a similar experience to that -- someone who's more of an only child, even if they have siblings. You and Suou are both only children, but Narukami, Kingscholar, even Hiiro and his older brother... have had upbringings which kept us from something as ordinary and fundamental as a family.

[ birds of a feather, probably.

... kaname's clearing his throat he's talking too much about stuff that hits close to home-- ]

Anyway. We should eat. Before the sandwiches go bad. The lake certainly looks nice, doesn't it? I almost wish I knew how to swim.

[ Aira's expression pinches with irritation at the mention of Rinne. His death softened Aira's ire in some ways, but he's never going to forgive the pain he caused Hiiro.

As has become an anxious, irritated habit, the blond's hand goes to his left wrist where the headband sits, wrapped like a bracelet and half hidden under his sleeve. The distinct white stripe the only indication of whose it is. ]

... I know a lot about their home life. I'd rather not talk about that right now.

[ Hiiro is his partner after all. He's seen the boy through a lot. They've talked about a lot. It's not something he feels comfortable getting into. Especially given his dicey feelings towards Rinne as an old fan. ]

... Either way, you have my support, whatever happens. That's what friends are for, right? You can talk to me about anything.

[ He's pretty hesitant to extend that word to others, but given everything they've been through, it felt like an insult not to acknowledge that. ]

... I'm not too interested in getting in. I can swim but... on top of the water having been scalding when I washed up, I'm really not interested in tempting fate...

[ What would he do if he got dragged back down? What would Hiiro and the others do if he got dragged back down-- they only just got him back. He's not taking that chance. Not yet. ]

[ it isn't shiratori's place to speak on it anyway, in his opinion, which is why kaname never asks anyone but the person involved with it; he knows enough from the brothers themselves too.

friends, though. it's true he enjoys the time he spends with shiratori as he does others. the other boy also knows a secret that could devastate two lives and refuses to release it. kaname eyes him from the side and at the very least doesn't deny it like he might have so many months ago... the other hasn't done anything to rub him wrong, shares a similar view and adoration of idols -- but much in the same way that he never called ayase friend, wouldn't have called shiina one, there's something that keeps him from taking that small step across the world's tiniest crack.

in time, in time. shiratori is at least someone he likes to spend the day with, and would hate if they weren't on speaking terms. that's good enough for him. ]

Well, you know more than I do. I nearly drowned in that blood sea surrounding the island myself.

[ but he'd still like to... it'd be fun, maybe. kaname reaches out to touch it with his shoe. ]

It was real blood, by the way. In case you were ever curious.

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