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[perfectlie]

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[love_swan]

I wasn't going to tell anyone. It's... not really my place to.

[ He may be a giant otaku but he does have a conscience under there. Spreading a theory on the internet as a no-credit rando is way, way different than spreading something like this around with substantial evidence to back it. Plus clearly they were keeping it quiet for a reason. ]

I just figured I should ask... to make sure and to let you know I knew if it was true. I mean... you must have a reason.

[ for lying, that is. Aira is more than aware he's been lied to. That most have been lied to for most of Yodaka's stay. He isn't mad though. ]

And don't worry. I'm the biggest Idol fan there is. I can support both of you. I have been, anyway.

[ out comes his phone, and... though Kaname has likely seen it many times, Aira picks out two specific keychains from the mass of them, one of Kaname's old HiMERU ones and one of the current HiMERU. ]

I'm happy to hear he's enjoying it, though. Sometimes I worried about him. He always seems so serious.

[perfectlie]

[ and kaname has begun to feel very, very guilty about the lie, even if he's the one who forced his brother into it in the first place -- his brother, who would have handed his persona right back to him and thought of something for himself in needed. his brother, who kaname selfishly told him to take it on instead -- all so that he himself wouldn't feel suffocated by the memories that clung to such a name. how silly he was.

wasn't "yodaka" just as suffocating in the end?

... the keychains make his smile a little more real and he holds them both in his hand, he and his brother's. it's so strange to see it like this. merchandise he had vague knowledge of, but far too busy to look into it himself. even the fanletters had become a part of the work. how many of his brother's current fans had been his? how many are familiar with his brother alone? the way they mingle, twist around like the cords of the keychains, terrifies and excites him. he wants to see it; he doesn't. ]

... That's simply how he is. But that's also how "HiMERU" is as well -- I don't know how much he shows his hand even when he's playing up the persona, but my brother is kind and strict in spades, he always knows what to do and the best way to do it. His idea of fun is reading and puzzles, things that work the mind... while I'm not fond of it at all. But it's nice to sit together.

[ to have quiet moments, with casual affection of a hand on his head. leaning against one another. ]

He's more affectionate than I thought he'd be too, though that's only because meeting here was our first time seeing one another. The impression I had over our phone calls differed... though not by too much. [ a small laugh. ] My brother must feel as awkward as I do, even now, trying to figure out how a family should be.

[ but that's one thing he won't share past those words. still, it's clear as ever that kaname adores his brother, even if the impression that shiratori has of HiMERU differs from the one that kaname's able to see as his brother. he's hoping it'll ease the other's worries a little... ]

[love_swan]

You know... When I was telling the others about him I noticed he spoke like he'd walked out of one of your old interviews... whatever the reason he had for taking up your mantle... he really loves you.

[ the amount of dedication it must have taken to flawlessly recreate a persona for someone like that is just... immense. ]

Maybe I'm not the best one to talk about this stuff, since I'm an only child, but... I don't think family is something that has a solid set of rules. It's what you make of it. The way you two are is fine as long as you're both happy. That's all that matters.

[ he looks down at the water distantly, smiling faintly as he brushes his finger across the ALKALOID pop socket on the back of his phone. ]

Family is there for you through anything. You may not always get along, but you always care.

[perfectlie]

[ they won't be getting along once kaname works up his courage to confront his brother,

but that's later, and this is now. ]

I'm more of an only child myself, given the circumstances. [ having only really. known each other this past year. gosh, if it wouldn't be a full year sooner over later -- even if only one of them knows it. ] It feel as if I know a number of others who have a similar experience to that -- someone who's more of an only child, even if they have siblings. You and Suou are both only children, but Narukami, Kingscholar, even Hiiro and his older brother... have had upbringings which kept us from something as ordinary and fundamental as a family.

[ birds of a feather, probably.

... kaname's clearing his throat he's talking too much about stuff that hits close to home-- ]

Anyway. We should eat. Before the sandwiches go bad. The lake certainly looks nice, doesn't it? I almost wish I knew how to swim.

[love_swan]

[ Aira's expression pinches with irritation at the mention of Rinne. His death softened Aira's ire in some ways, but he's never going to forgive the pain he caused Hiiro.

As has become an anxious, irritated habit, the blond's hand goes to his left wrist where the headband sits, wrapped like a bracelet and half hidden under his sleeve. The distinct white stripe the only indication of whose it is. ]

... I know a lot about their home life. I'd rather not talk about that right now.

[ Hiiro is his partner after all. He's seen the boy through a lot. They've talked about a lot. It's not something he feels comfortable getting into. Especially given his dicey feelings towards Rinne as an old fan. ]

... Either way, you have my support, whatever happens. That's what friends are for, right? You can talk to me about anything.

[ He's pretty hesitant to extend that word to others, but given everything they've been through, it felt like an insult not to acknowledge that. ]

... I'm not too interested in getting in. I can swim but... on top of the water having been scalding when I washed up, I'm really not interested in tempting fate...

[ What would he do if he got dragged back down? What would Hiiro and the others do if he got dragged back down-- they only just got him back. He's not taking that chance. Not yet. ]

[perfectlie]

[ it isn't shiratori's place to speak on it anyway, in his opinion, which is why kaname never asks anyone but the person involved with it; he knows enough from the brothers themselves too.

friends, though. it's true he enjoys the time he spends with shiratori as he does others. the other boy also knows a secret that could devastate two lives and refuses to release it. kaname eyes him from the side and at the very least doesn't deny it like he might have so many months ago... the other hasn't done anything to rub him wrong, shares a similar view and adoration of idols -- but much in the same way that he never called ayase friend, wouldn't have called shiina one, there's something that keeps him from taking that small step across the world's tiniest crack.

in time, in time. shiratori is at least someone he likes to spend the day with, and would hate if they weren't on speaking terms. that's good enough for him. ]

Well, you know more than I do. I nearly drowned in that blood sea surrounding the island myself.

[ but he'd still like to... it'd be fun, maybe. kaname reaches out to touch it with his shoe. ]

It was real blood, by the way. In case you were ever curious.